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Toilet situation

“Mum, someone hit me on my sun tan yesterday….”

Was the comment I had before leaving for work this morning.

Today there was a “toilet situation’ at Birmingham central station. I had 15mins before my train so thought I would use the facilities. 

Without going into too much detail here, I flushed and the water rose up….now this was problematic on several accounts. 

  1. There was no loo brush to assist 
  2. I could see feet outside the door indicating there was a queue
  3. The above person had heard the flush and assumed I was “done”
  4. I had time against me as my train was due

I stand there and watch the water rising to just under an inch of the toilet lid. I have a dilemma. Do I risk flushing again?!

Am I going to flood Birmingham central and get toxic waste over my new trousers? 

I can hear the person outside tutting. I am sweating. I cannot just “ ditch and go” I am trapped.

I stand there and from the corner of my eye I can see a trickle of water slowly going down. I decide to take the risk and flush….

The water rapidly rises, as does my temperature. I envisage a tidal wave crashing over the loo… then relief…. the water goes down! Thank god for that!

I exit the cubicle and do that thing where you try and casually walk out as if nothing happens… until you skid on a stray bit of paper and make yourself look like a tit.

Then the person walks in and promptly walks back out but you pretend not to notice..

I get on the train and decide to open my emails.

I am currently advertising a flat I have to rent. In order to save money, I have done this via Gumtree. A consequence of this is that occasionally you get idiots emailing you with silly questions.

Previously I have had “ Can I fit 4 kids and a dog in the 2 bedroom luxury flat you have?”

Today’s winner is “Veronika” with this beauty….

”Hi there. I’m interested in your flat, but I think the rent is too high. Can you lower it  by say £100 and I will consider a viewing?”

My response was short and sweet

Gimme strength