Poppy’s birthday

My daughter turned 7 yesterday. Our house is trashed.

There are balloons all over the floor, the furniture has been re arranged after a party yesterday, and there are toys and cards piled up under the tv.

In a few years time, the house will be much the same, except they’ll probably be random strangers lying under the tv, and other forms of latex all over the floor. It’s a scary thought.

Poppy received lots of lovely presents. Now when opening them, she goes one of two ways…. she either becomes very excited over something very unexpected, like yesterday when I picked up a sticker book from sainsburys and didn’t even bother to wrap it….well it was the best thing ever apparently…. or she makes zero emotion. This is usually reserved for when she opens a present in front of the person who brought it, it is beyond embarrassing.

My daughter is far from shy, but when she opens a present in front of someone, she puts her head down, opens it, barely looks at it and drops it to one side. Meanwhile, I’m trying to over compensate by doing the oohing and aahing, whilst also praying she doesn’t say something embarrassing like the time she opened a card and said ” I’m opening this card first in case there’s money in it”, or “I’ve already got this” or ” This is horrible. What is it?”

After the person has gone, she’ll rave about the gift, saying it’s the best thing ever. Ffs why couldn’t you have done that when you bloody opened it?

As I have previously mentioned, Poppy is into LOL dolls. They have to be the biggest rip off ever.

We brought her a huge plastic LOL bowl with a large bath bomb in and about 6 tiny pieces of plastic. 2 were dolls of which ones head fell off in the bath. I picked a tiny piece off the floor and went to chuck it in the bin. I honestly thought it was a chipped piece of plastic off something. It was smaller than an ant. Apparently it was a doll “pacifier”……£25 for a combined plastic size of a fingernail.

So Poppy had 2 parties this year. One was a tea party after school, and another was a bowling party today.

The good thing about having a party at home, is that you can drink alcohol and it looks semi acceptable. Like you can especially buy a case of prosecco but make it look like you just happen to have a few bottles in the fridge.

” Oh bugger, I’ve only got enough cordial for the kids, and I appear to have run out of tea and coffee. Prosecco anyone? Or gin…. or a Peroni?…..”

The mess then becomes bearable. Like when someone treads a cheesy wotsit into the carpet, or your One year old decides to make a strawberry smoothie on the wall. Or when you trough a load of sausage rolls into your mouth and the pastry is all down your top giving you away.

The other good thing about having a party at home is that you get to live on buffet food for about a week. It’s like Christmas. I basically do one batch of cooking then live on quiche and Dorito’s for 5 days.

I couldn’t do a tea party at home if it involved inviting a load of kids around. Mainly because the mess would make me anxious but also because I would probably get through the case of prosecco and it probably wouldn’t be appropriate.

Instead, I did a bowling party. Last year, I took 7 kids to “Build a bear” followed by McDonald’s. I stupidly told the parents to relax at home as I was convinced it would be easy to supervise them. How stupid was I? Never again! How I didn’t lose one I don’t know.

This year, the kids had a game of bowling followed by food. The lovely “Carol” ( I don’t actually know her name but she looked like a carol) supervised the kids and arranged everything.

The kids had fun.. although the game seemed to drag on forever and there’s only so much coffee you can drink watching them.

Kids liked the food. Although the random piece of red pepper next to the hot dog was a bit weird. Almost like Hollywood Bowl decided they’d better shove a bit of veg on the plate so hacked up a random pepper.

Poppy rounded off the party by nearly setting another child on fire. She didn’t quite get the concept of a sparkler candle and therefore decided to blow it… thus sending sparks in the direction of another child’s face. But hey ho, we all survived.

Now where’s that prosecco….