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Summer holidays…with kids

Once upon a time, before I had kids, the summer holidays would mean lazy days on rest days, all day drinking sessions, and hedonistic holidays.

Now I have kids and summer holidays conjure up the following emotions; stress, anxiety, anger and frustration.

As a parent, you are expected to entertain your kids 24/7 and it’s bloody exhausting…and boring!

Let me just put it out there, I am not one of these parents who look forward to spending 8wks with my children. You will never see a Facebook post of me declaring I cannot wait for the summer holidays… and here’s why.

Typical activities to do with the kids during the holidays and how they actually pan out;

Cinema- Not only will you spend a shed load of money on popcorn, your child will demolish it before the film starts then will spend the rest of the time wanting the toilet. Also, there are a lots of kids all under one roof kicking your chair during the film.

Swimming – You will spend ages getting you and your child ready. They will get in the pool and moan it’s cold. They will moan the water is wet, that it’s blue, that the water is getting in their face. Five minutes later they will want out. If it’s my kid, they will also shit in the pool. Also, there are lots of other kids there under one roof

Park- No matter how you big this up, your child will moan they come here all the time. If there’s other parents there, you are forced to actually supervise your child on the slide instead of checking Facebook on the bench. Also, there are other kids, and lots of them, in one vicinity.

Pool in the garden- You spend forever blowing the pool up, taking out a mortgage to fill it up, and your daughter will complain there’s bits of grass in it. Your son will just shit in it. Speaking from experience. Plus point is there’s no other kids

Shopping- Your child will ask for all sorts of tat. Eventually you will give in. Your child will then want to go home regardless of you wanting to buy yourself something. They will make your life hell until you abort the shopping trip. Also, the shops are full of other whining children

Soft play – Hell no!

McDonald’s- it is full of kids. The end.

Holiday abroad- it is full of kids. Kids everywhere. No thanks

So basically, the summer holidays are not enjoyable. They fill me with dread. I am also broke for the whole 8wks because your child will want snacks and drinks every five minutes from the time they get up. How do they survive at school?!

Gimme Strength!